My New Year’s Resolution

January 1st, 2010
by Alfonso Ebanks

[private] v8-1-Our IslandsAs is the custom I have been trying to come up with a worthwhile New Year resolution but I’m unable to think of anything of importance. I can’t resolve to quit smoking or quit drinking beer or biting my nails because I’ve already given up those habits.

I have resolved to continue to be hypocritical in order to not hurt the feelings of others or in order to just to make them feel important and to maintain their self esteem. I guess all of us are guilty of these same hypocritical doings. They are very common and most of us do them every day to the point that these things have become more like automatic reaction.

Whenever we meet a person on the street in the AM, we are all accustomed to wishing that person a good morning and a nice day. In some cases we don’t even know the person, but there we go wishing them all the best. We all know that we could not care less what kind of day they have. I will continue to tell mothers of newborn babies that their child is cute even if the baby is ugly as sin. I will keep on listening to the sad stories of other people and feigning interest, even sympathy, when deep in my heart I really don’t care about their problems.

My biggest challenge is trying to keep my cool on Saturdays when just about lunch time the Jehovah witnesses show up with their pamphlets and their sermons. I normally pay the fine for being caught on the porch by buying their magazines and with a store-bought smile I endure their preaching. This in itself is a great deed and I resolve to do my best to continue this practice. Another trying situation is when people come to our house uninvited and with no previous warning I must pretend that they are very welcome and make them feel like I have been waiting on them all along.

I will still send sympathy cards, birthday cards, Christmas cards and other such things just because it is the thing to do but not necessarily because I have any sympathy, or any desire to wish anyone have a Happy Birthday or a Merry Christmas, much less a prosperous New Year.

Other things that I resolve to work on is not feeling too much like a fool when I give money to some “poor” person only to find out that they used the money on something other than the reason they gave me to soften my heart. I will try hard not to remind a person of a good deed I have done for them in the past whenever they refuse me the tiniest favor. I resolve not to try anymore to collect outstanding debts that are over 10 years old. I also resolve not to pay any outstanding debts that are 10 years old.

When it comes to being polite, we all know it is learned human value, but we also know that we are all hypocrites. Yet in our hypocrisy we are displaying our humanity and our learned kindness. Other animals cannot hide their true feelings as well as we can.

So in the word of Sir John Moore, “I will continue to kiss those that I may want to kill.” [/private]

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